Today was a good day. One of the issues I had before I started my diet was that I felt sluggish ALL THE TIME. I especially noticed it on the weekend when I would start the day by watching Netflix and before I knew it, it was time to cook dinner, and then it was bed time and I would have literally accomplished nothing that day. On those days I felt fat, depressed, lazy, worthless... The list of negative feelings goes on and on. But the following weekend I would do the same. On the rare occasion I made plans, I would dread having to get up, take a shower, and leave the comforts of my relaxing couch. It's embarrassing but it's true. There is also a bright side. Now that I am exercising and eating healthier I feel a lot better. Today, I didn't even feel like watching TV. I wanted to get up and go do something. I had a great walk with my kids and then we came home and they played beauty salon and did my make up, nails, and hair. My six year old thought it would be cool if she made me look like Fluttershy from My Little Ponies. Fluttershy is a yellow pony so my daughter found yellow eye shadow and covered my face with it. I was then given heavy blue and purple eye shadow and gobs and gobs of red and pink lip gloss. God, did I look hot. LOL.
It's funny...Whenever I diet and exercise I feel great but it somehow never sticks. Looking back I can't remember where they all went wrong, just that they did. I am REALLY hoping that this time I don't fail, but if I do, I want to document exactly what went wrong. I keep reminding myself that this is a lifestyle now and not a temporary diet. If I get busy and have to skip a week or two at the gym I'll be fine as long as I start back up again. Same goes for my diet. It's crazy to think that I'll never slip up (although I hope I don't). But what's important isn't the slip up, it's getting right back on track. Yesterday my daughter wanted to buy Caramel Drumstick ice cream cones and today my daughters wanted to cook brownies. Both times I had to say no because I don't trust myself yet. Eventually I am sure I will be able to trust/control myself and when that day comes maybe I can have a slice of pizza one evening or a SMALL bowl of my favorite ice cream...But until then, I have to stay away. I don't know when that day will come but I have a feeling it's a long long way away.
For dinner tonight I heated up the taco meat from last night and had left overs. For dessert I had two Snack Wells cookies. I didn't eat nearly enough fruit and veggies today but at least I came in under my daily allotted calories (I consumed 1279 and worked of 195 which brought the total down to 1084).
Tomorrow is Sunday and I am looking forward to going to the gym. My brother asked if he could take the kids to the art store for an hour or two so I am going to take advantage of the babysitting and go kick some butt at the gym.
Its's 10:38 and I am going to lay down and relax. Good night everyone.
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