Good morning world. I am feeling great this morning!! Yesterday I was a bit tired from that 9 mile hike on Saturday. Today is a different story. I feel energized and pumped to go to the gym.
Yesterday I fell off the wagon a bit during the day. I started the day by eating Special K cereal and then around 11am ate an apple for a snack...so far so good. I then ate a Lean Cuisine pasta dish (still good) but then I fell off the wagon a bit. I started by snacking on these cinnamon sugar pretzels (so good) that are low in fat and pretty low in calories (20 pretzels equal 140 calories). I originally decided to eat 10 of them (half a serving) for about 70 calories... But they were so freaking good that I decided to have the second half of the serving, 10 more pretzels. A half hour later I was still pretty hungry so I decided to eat a cup of cereal, after all, I did just complete a nine hour hike the day before, I could afford the eat a few more calories than normal (at least that was what was going through my mind at the time).
Around 2pm I laid outside in my bathing suit (one piece of course) listening to music in my backyard. Eventually I came inside because my kids (who had eaten some snacks throughout the day) were hungry. I made them some mac and cheese and, once done, plopped down on the couch next to my seven year old to watch some cartoons with her on Netflix. Before long, I fell asleep. I woke up about thirty minutes later, are a second serving of pretzels, and fell back asleep. About an hour after that I woke up again and at some more pretzels, this time not even counting out servings anymore.
My plan wasn't to eat half of the 10 ounce bag but that's exactly what I did. I kept eating and eating and eating, all the while convincing myself it wasn't that bad because I had burned so many calories the day before. I said to myself, "I had 500 calories left over yesterday so if I combine yesterday with today, I will probably be right at my limit." I started realizing my mistake about halfway through my binge episode. I started feeling like shit, physically and mentally. I realized all of the hard work I had put in the day before was wasted. All of the calories I burned I had just eaten in one sitting. I felt guilty, I felt ashamed, I felt like a failure, but I kept on eating. It was like the fat girl in me took over.
I ended up finishing off the entire bag. I wanted to immediately exercise to burn off the calories I just consumed but I couldn't because I didn't have anyone to watch my kids. I realized I would have to do several hours of cardio to burn off that bag of pretzels, something that would be impossible given the fact that it was now 4pm and I had house cleaning and other items that needed to be done. I was dying to exercise but couldn't. I then decided that maybe this wasn't a bad thing. Maybe this would be my first official challenge, having s binge episode and falling off the wagon. Would I let this one I stand defeat me or would I get back up and keep pushing?
I got off my butt, put my headphones in, and started doing some housework. It needed to be done and I needed to move around. While doing the dishes I danced around to the music which instantly made me feel better.
In the end, I wasn't that hungry in the evening thanks to the 900 calories worth of pretzels I ate so
I skipped dinner. I knew that the following day I would be able to go to the gym which would enable me to burn off some of the pretzels. I packed my gym bag before going to bed and felt better knowing that I would push myself hard at the gym the following morning.
It's that morning now and I'm not sure if I should go to the gym now or after work. Let me explain. First, I want to go NOW. I am pumped and actually looking forward to getting some serious exercise. The only problem is that, if I really push myself at the gym (like I want) I will be pretty tired afterward. It's always extremely hard for me to get work done at my office after going to the gym, although I don't know why. Because of that I debated going after work. But, what if something comes up (like it always does) and I don't end up having time for the gym. I will be pissed. Okay, it's decided. Today is the only day this week I know for a fact I can go to the gym. I might be able to go Wednesday but won't know until after work. On Tuesday and Friday I have early morning clients which means not only no gym but no morning run either. That leaves today, possibly Wednesday, and Thursday (I don't have time for the gym on Thursday but do have time for a morning run). I can get caught up with work after the gym and later in the week if needed. 
The bottom line is, who knows how I'll feel later today. Right now I'm pumped and am stoked to go burn off some steam. Yay. I'm excited.
I have to eat breakfast before I go. I'm back at home after dropping off the kids. It's 9:10am so I have to hurry. I just have to finish this bowl of steel cut oatmeal and my second cup of coffee and I'll be off.
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