I just got back to my office after a fantastic workout and, once again, I am struggling to get motivated. I swear... I gain motivation to lose weight and lose my motivation to work. Why can't I be motivated to do both?
I had a great workout at the gym. I chose to do my cardio on the stationary bike again instead of the elliptical. What is really nice about the stationary bike is that I can watch Netflix on my phone while exercising. Unfortunately, today my phone was only 15% charged by the time I got to the gym. I thought I could charge my phone using the USB plug on the bike but it didn't work. I didn't realize this at first because the phone did start charging for a sec. I started to watch House on Netflix and a few minutes later when my iPhone yelled at me that it was at 10%, I realized it wasn't charging and turned it off. I then plugged my headphones into the jack on the bike to listen to CNN that was playing on one of the gym's tvs.
1 hour later...
Okay, I know that I should be working but I really couldn't help myself. I started another weight loss blog a LONG time ago and I just logged in to read it to try and see where I went wrong. The blog documents 4-6 weight loss attempts but only two of those work. The first diet is a low calories, weight watchers inspired diet. I only lasted 2-3 weeks and lost around ten pounds. The second diet was my longest yet. It lasted three months and I lost over twenty pounds on it! I used Atkins that time around. I remember feeling so great about losing the weight and keeping it off for so long (yes, three months is a long time for me), so I couldn't figure out why I stopped. I went back through the posts and saw exactly where and why I failed. The first month I rocked out and lost a ton of weight. I was also going to the gym 3-4 times a week. The second month I continued to work out but started to eat more carbs. I still lost weight though so I was happy. Looking back I can see a pattern starting. I would eat some candy, blog about how disappointed I was, work out even harder at the gym, and then...yay weight loss. So the first problem, I think, was that I probably convinced myself I would lose weight by working out alone and therefore slowly started eating crappier. This actually seemed to work, for a little while that it. Unfortunately, the next thing that happened was that I lost my job (the last job I had before started my own accounting business). For three months I had a routine: Go to work 8:00am-5:00pm, pick up kids, get dinner, go to gym for 1-2 hours, get home at 8:30pm, put kids to bed, do housework, 10:30pm go to bed. When I lost my job that through a huge kink in the mix.
After losing my job, I had way more time on my hands and should have been using that time to go to the gym more. Instead, I sat on my ass watching TV all day. I would wallow in self pity and eventually look at the clock and see it was time to pick up my kids. After working out 3-4 days a week and
never missing a gym day (not even for plans with a good friend), I stopped going for ten days. I then had jury duty one morning which forced my to get off my ass and go somewhere. After I was dismissed I went to the gym. And-that-was-it. There are no more posts after that and I know why.
When you want to lose weight there are two tried and tested ways to do so. You can 1) Eat healthier and/or 2) Exercise more. When I started my diet I was doing both with my low-carb diet and my 3-4 day a week gym schedule. But around month two, I started easing up on my strict diet. I continued to lose weight because I was working out. The problem was, I gradually at worse and worse. I then stopped going to the gym. If I had kept eating healthy I would have been fine. But instead, I had already incorporated carbs back into my diet. At the time I remember thinking "I don't have to go to the gym...After all, I look great and only have about 10 pounds left to lose". For some reason, I thought I could give up completely and maintain my new 139 pound body...WRONG. I really wish my 180 lbs body could go back and slap my 139 lbs body and say "Don't quit!!! You've come sooooooo far!!" When time travel is invented I might just do that, or better yet, just go back and slap myself for being such an idiot.
When I started that diet it was August 2011 and I weighed about 158 lbs. This time around I was 21 lbs heavier and therefore have that much more to lose. I feel like a moron for thinking the hard part was over back then. An addict can't quit drinking for three months and then say "Yay, I'm cured!" I can now go out and have a beer whenever I want." They can't do that because they can't control themselves around alcohol. Well, that is the same for me and food. I am sure I will convince myself at some point down the line that I am "cured". There is no cure for addiction. There is just taking it one day at a time.
