Day 66 - No More Taco Nights

Wednesday, 5/13/15, 7:58am

Last night when I finished updating my food journal in MFP I realized that I had forgotten to include an ingredient from dinner. I cook the corn tortillas in a pan of canola oil. I have no idea how much oil soaks into the tortillas but I assumed it was at least a tablespoon. Once that was entered I noticed that the tacos I had for dinner contained over 600 calories, more than half of my daily calories. 

I was hungry for most of the day yesterday and ate only two snacks. I was SURE I was going to come in way under my daily calorie limit. I was shocked that I ended up almost going over. I think this may be the key to why I haven't lost weight. 

This week I am really going back to basics. First, i decided to keep a close eye on the amount of sugar I consume going forward to insure I don't go over my daily limit. Next, I decided to really track every single morsel of what I eat or drink. I thought I was doing this before but I was so focused on not feeling like I was dieting I think I may have made some mistakes. I am motivated again like I was in the beginning and it feels good. 

Instead of using weightloss to motivate me to exercise I am using the pending half marathon I'm committed to doing to motivate me. If I wanted to lose weight faster I would go to the gym. But its exhilarating pushing myself to run farther and farther each day. I never though I would be able to run 5k. On Monday I ran 8k! 

Day 65 - Cravings Subsiding?

Tuesday, 5/12/15, 6:58am

This morning I woke up craving sugar, but I do think the intensity of the craving was less than it usually is. Today I am sticking with the plan: eat less sugar. 

According to MFP I am allowed 74 grams of sugar a day.  I went through my food log to check to see if I was going over the limit. I only checked about a week back and was surprised that I only went over my sugar allowance by one or two days a week. I was even more surprised when I looked at the sugar in each food individually. Four Red Vines have 140 calories and 16g of sugar. A cup of Special K cereal has 15g as does 2/3 cup of organic vanilla almond granola. 

Before these last couple days, I didn't know how much sugar was "a lot". Now I do and I'm better equipped to plan my meals for the day. 

Day 64 - Feeling Better

Monday, 5/11/15, 9:19pm

I am feeling much better than I was this morning. First off, I ran 8k today which is almost double the longest I've previously gone. I burned over 700 calories!

Next, I came in way under my daily calories limit AND my daily sugar limit! The sugar limit was what my goal was in hopes that my sugar cravings would start to subside. I did have a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich after dinner but only after checking my net calories and sugar for the day. Either way, I always suffer the cravings at night and in the morning. I am feeling great tonight which could be because I cut down on the sugar today or it could be because I ate that ice cream sandwich. Tomorrow morning will be the true test. I wake up every morning with awful cravings, almost like a drug addict but instead of craving drugs I crave sugar. It's that intense. I'm really hoping the cravings have died down tomorrow morning...we'll just have to see. 

I also got a tone of back logged work done which included getting caught up with invoicing ALL of my clients. 

Between the exercise accomplishment, the diet accomplishment, or the work accomplishment, I am going to bed tonight feeling so much better than I was this weekend and this morning. 

Day 64

Monday - May 11, 2015 - 7:56am

It's not even 8am and I've already consumed half of the sugar I'm allotted today. I woke up again with severe sugar cravings. Since I got rid of all (or so I thought) the "quick fix" food I was forced to make steel cut oatmeal for breakfast. The downside is that it takes about five minutes to make and another five minutes to cool down. The cravings were so strong I dug into some chocolate Teddy Gramhs that were in a bowl on the counter (my daughter got out yesterday). 

I have to find a better way of managing these sugar cravings. Getting rid of most of the sugary food has helped but now I'm turning to food I wouldn't generally eat. 

This morning I had an idea. I've read articles about sugar cravings and they said to try and wait them out, something that's easier said than done when in full craving mode. This morning I thought, what if I forced myself to wait fifteen minutes or so to see if the craving would in fact pass? I don't have a ton of confidence this will work but don't have a ton to lose at this point. 

The morning and late night cravings are the worst. I'm going to see if I can find some more articles today that can help. 

I'm still pretty bummed about my lack of weightloss. I honestly feel that i will not lose weight doing what I'm doing. I'm tempted to try a more drastic measure: Atkins, HCG, juice fast for two weeks... I try and constantly remind myself that this is just as much about health as it is about weightloss. It's hard to stay positive though when I'm still super tired on Thursday and Friday nights and am still stuck in the same rut. 

Day 63 - Feeling Blah

Sunday, May 10, 2015, 9:30pm

It is day 63 and I definitely understand why my diets have always failed around this time. Don't worry, I have t fallen off the wagon but the lack of weight loss is really started to de-motivate me. It's so frustrating doing all this work and barely losing any weight. I'm also struggling financially at the moment and am really going to have to put everything I have into work over the next few weeks. That means no more gym days... Ugh. I always knew the true challenge would be when I faced a bump in the road that would change up my informal routine. It looks like the time has come, and of course it's right around day 60. 

I have basically given up ok the scale. Yesterday I also went way over my daily calories. I am still having hardcore sugar cravings and if I don't find a way of curbing them, they will always be the downfall of my weigh loss progress. At day 63 I shouldn't be struggling with sugar cravings this much. I think I just haven't cut nearly enough out of my diet yet. Between the Snackwell cookies, push-up pops, Special K cereal, and Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches, I am still fully addicted to sugar, now I just healthier versions of it. The popups, Special K, and Snackwell cookies are gone (thank god) and I don't plan on buying anymore anytime soon. 

Tomorrow is a new day and a new week. My focus will continue being how I feel and not how much the scale shows. This weeks goal is to cut my daily sugar intake to stay within the limits of the MFP app. 

Happy Mother's Day. 

Xoxo

Day 60 - Morning Check-In

Thursday, 5/7/15, 7:13am

Today is day 60 and while I've been looking forward to this day for a long time I am filled with mixed emotions. 

At this point I'm not sure if the new scale I bought is busted or if I really just gained 1.5 pounds this past week. I understand that weight can fluctuate but according to the scale I have only lost about four pounds in 60 days!! I have been diligently tracking my calories and entering them into my daily food journal using MFP and on top of that I have been exercising 3 to 5 times a week. At least once or twice a week I even do a three hour workout at the gym!! I'm seriously busting my butt so I'm really confused at why the scale is not budging. I lose a pound one week only to gain it back the following week. 

I hate to be a broken record, but last summer I lost 28 pounds in sixty days so these 4 pounds in the same amount of time seriously doesn't make sense. I understand that muscle weighs more than fat or that you can plateau for a week or two. But let's be honest... this has been going on for over a month now. This isn't caused by muscle weighing more than fat and isn't caused because of a plateau. I've been changing up my workouts, I've been increasing the intensity, I even went on a 9 mile hike two weeks ago...  What more can I do??

As much of a bummer as this is I'm not going to let it affect my progress. I made a decision two months ago to change in the way my kids and I were eating. This is not a decision I made lately and it is not something that I'm going to stop doing just because an annoying ass scale won't budge. All I can do at this point is to keep doing exactly what I've been doing and just hope that it pays off in the long run.

I always seem to fall apart after day 60 and I now kind of understand how that could happen. It's so easy to lose motivation or to be discouraged when you're not seeing the results that you think you earned.

I believe what is important is your mindset when you start your healthy lifestyle. If you go into it thinking that it's a diet, one you have to follow to lose weight and then can stop once the weight falls off, you are setting yourself up to fail. In the past I always saw a light at the end of the tunnel. Every pound I lost was not only getting me closer to my weight loss goal but getting me closer to the day I could go back to eating "normal". I would think I was in it for the long haul but in reality I couldn't wait to  go back to normal eating. Normal eating didn't mean eating donuts for breakfast every morning but it did mean having them once in a blue moon. It also meant having food with more fat, basically a less restrictive diet. But mostly I don't think I was looking forward to the day where I woulmdy have to keep track of EVERYTHING I ate. I wouldn't have o count calories. I wouldn't have to research 

Day 56 - Morning Check-In

Sunday - May 3, 2015

Tomorrow is by 34th birthday and tonight my family and I are going out to dinner to celebrate. I haven't eaten out in over 56 days since starting eating healthy so I'm a little apprehensive about dinner. I am confident that I won't go overboard. The challenge will be finding a lowfat meal on the menu. To prepare, I'm going to see if I can find their menu online. That way, I can look up the nutrition content in some of their entrees to make sure I select a lowfat healthy choice at dinner tonight. It's safe to say that I'll probably be eating an entree consisting baked chicken breast since that's most likely to have the lowest fat content but we'll just have to see. 

I was planning on getting a sitter last night to go out dancing with my friend but I decided against it. Not only was I super tired from housecleaning topped off with a four hour run/hike but I realized I wasn't mentally prepared to drink alcohol yet. When I have dieted in the past I would be doing super great... My confidence would be through the roof and I would feel super sexy and ready for a night out in the town. It was always the icing on the cake, all of the hard work I had put in was paying off and I looked and felt great. I would go out with friends to celebrate some occasion (usually a birthday) and also to celebrate my weightloss. We would have some drinks, laugh, dance, have some more drinks, and laugh some more. Everything would be going great, that is until we left the bar ... I don't know about you but I always get super hungry after a night of drinking and I don't crave carrot sticks and apple slices. No, I crave greasy fat and salty carbs. This meant that a night of drinking was almost always capped off with a trip to Jack in the Box (the only fast food place open in my area). When I drink I find it almost impossible to say "no" to my vices. This means that I ALWAYS end up smoking (I quit six years ago) and binge eating on the fattiest, most unhealthy food imaginable. But it wouldn't end there. The next morning I would wake up SUPER hung over (I can't drink without getting hungover anymore). I would sleep half of the day (wake up early but take two to three naps throughout the day). I would be so tired and feel so crummy that I wouldn't have the energy to get up and make food. I always managed to snack on crackers and other lowfat food. I'd make the kids mac and cheese for lunch... And then around 6pm Id be starving and trying to figure out what to make for dinner. Did I really want to eat baked bones skinless chicken for the umpteenth time? I would ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS order a pizza at this point. Pizza is my hungover food and I can't ever seem to get away form that. Mentally Id reason with myself that I didn't eat all day (except for s few crackers) so I'd be under my daily calories so it was fine. This was always the start of the end for me. 

So you see why I'm not ready for a night of drinking yet. Of course there's a chance that Id do okay. I may only have one or two drinks (which would make me go over my daily calories). And maybe I would opt for healthy snacks when I got home. And maybe I would not be super duper hung over so maybe it would be easier to make good choices the following day. But I'm not risking it. 

I looked back at older posts from 2009 and 2011 and what the both have in common is the fact that I would fall of the wagon soon after a night of drinking. Coincidence? I think not. 

In the past I wanted to be healthier but that was only about 1% of the reason I was trying to lose weight. These days it more 70% is about being healthy while 30% is about losing weight. Drinking alcohol, especially in excess is NOT healthy and never will be. Most importantly though, I feel like complete crap the day after I drink, even if I only have s glass or two of wine. Sometimes I can get away with having a glass of wine with dinner and not feel like complete crap the next day (like when my friend came over for dinner a few weeks ago) but other times I'm not so lucky. I'm sure I will drink alcohol at some point but the longer I can go without it the better prepared I can be when that day finally comes.